Monday, October 8, 2007

Reality Doesn't Just Bite... It Kicks & Punches Too!

The worse thing about vacation is going home at the end of it. If you want to go home after your vacation.. you obviously didn't have a very good trip. Otherwise, going home is the last thing you want to do. And yes I missed my family and my friends... but definitely not my life.

Even before I got home I started to get stressed out about it. I was fully aware that I wasn't going back to Montreal to much. I am a university graduate... who quit my job and has no money! This was not looking good. So now I am praying and praying... to avoid being worried. But it's not working. I am so worried and so stressed! Do I want to find a job in my field or just find any old job? Do I want to start my own business or gain more experience? Do I want to stay in Montreal or leave? And while I'm trying to figure this out, do I just want to go back to the daycare so at least I am making money? Because I wouldn't have to apply there... I would just have to walk in! Arg!

And then, the day I arrived it was one of my ex-boyfriends birthdays! And I think everyone has that ex that you just can't get rid of. You think you're over them... only to find out that you aren't. And somehow... everyday just seems to remind you more of them... no matter how hard you try to forget them! It's actually very annoying! And if all that isn't bad enough... that ex happens to be your biggest weakness. They could very easily have you back without even trying. So I am fully aware that he is this person in my life... so I'm always trying to act extra strong... like I don't need you. But calling him for his birthday was just a reminder that I'm coming back to my boring single life! And remember, I love being single... Ij ust hate being reminded of it! And calling an ex-boyfriend is just a big reminder that your single!

And as though my reality wasn't looking bad enough... they decided to get worse! I felt like I was just fighting with my family. There seemed to be so much tension between me and my immediate family members. Maybe we all forgot what the other was like... and now that they are in our faces again... we realize how annoying thier personality is! Within in one week of being home I have already felt like the stupid family member who only cares about themself... one more than one occasion!

So not only am I broke... I don't have a job and I'm no longer a student... but I'm also single and the worse family member ever! I should have just stayed on vacation!!!

Philippians 4:19
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.
Luke 12: 22-26
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

1 comment:

  1. Chin up ole gal! the best is yet to come...yeah, it can suck, but remember to keep your head up and high. That's when we can see in Him the reality that really is and that surpasses the "reality" that we find ourselves in...I know a little something about that, right about now..lol...but thanks for sharing honestly...like the song says, be encouraged...ooouuuu chil, things are gonna get easiier...

    lots of love,
    and for whatever it's worth, I REALLY miss Montreal...we've got a great hometown...but if you want to get a way for a while, you are welcome to visit us here in Greensboro, North Carolina!!

    Achlai

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