A Suitable Boy

I just finished reading this massive book called A Suitable Boy, by Vikram Seth. An Indian girl is at the age for marriage... so now she must find the "suitable boy". In it there were three lucky candidates... and I found that I could name each of these characters to people in my life. And since I'm still pretty young (me trying to convince myself), the cycle might repeat itself... though I'm hoping not.

Mr. Passion: the man you fall madly deeply in love with. And it's that storybook kind of love; head-over-heels, knees weak, butterflies in the stomach, loss of speech kind of love! It's the kind where you can't bear living w/o them. Your entire being seems to be intertwined in theirs. Every waking thought and many of the sleeping one's are consumed with them. And people tell you to get over it... move on. But you can't even imagine living like that... it'd be like cutting off a limp. Ya sure, you'd survive but it would be deeply missed and you'd be pretty handicapped after.

Mr. Ideal: the man who is all your dreams come true and more. He's everything you could ever want in another human being. You can see how each other fits into every single second of each other's life. He understands you and shares the same passions, dreams and vision. You begin to wonder if God created both of you out of the same mold. He completes you and compliments you and mirrors you all at once. It amazes you that someone so perfect could actually be on this earth the whole time. It's as though you were never dreaming but just getting a picture of him.

Mr. Suitable: the man who is perfect on paper. When you describe him everyone is amazed and when they meet him, they are even more in awe. He's outgoing, sweet, kind, generous, articulate, educated, and so many other wonderful qualities that you would write on your resume. He's an amazing catch. Your life with him would be perfect; you'd have a house, 2.5 kids, a dog, a picket fence. You'd have stability... financially and emotionally. You'd always be his princess and he, you're knight in shining armor.

Now I'm sure there are so many other candidates in people's lives. I've met people that are Mr. So-damn-close-to-ideal that i wonder if they are Mr. Ideal. And of course there's Mr. Crap! But ladies, please.... don't choose him.

But in my book and so far in my life, the three main characters are Mr. Passion, Mr. Ideal and Mr. Suitable. Unfortunately for me, my life isn't a fictional-tale so no one is pursuing me. But Lata (the Indian girl in the book) was being pursued by all three. And when she made her choice, I was a little shocked but it made sense.

She didn't choose Mr. Passion. Though religion was a big hindrance for them (doesn't that sound freaking familiar) it wasn't why she didn't choose him. It was because of the passion... because it drove her mad and she felt like she lost a part of herself. When you're so in love... they aren't necessarily making you into a better you... they might even make you into a worse you. You're so driven by their love everything else fades in the background. You're physically and emotionally sick. This love might even be blind... you may not even see their faults. You're just in love. Which would make everyday living very very difficult. As I have said before... love isn't enough in a marriage... you need just a little bit more.

She chose Mr. Suitable. She said Mr. Ideal would be too much because they were too similar. I beg to differ. And she said at least with Mr. Suitable, she knew what she was getting into. She could see what everyday would be like... the routine they would get into. But I guess she had to choose him since the book was... A Suitable Boy.

But I don't want him to just be suitable...

Definition of suitable:

• having the required skills for an acceptable level of performance
• meeting the requirements of a purpose or situation
• competent, fit, appropriate, proper, right, as it should be.

Definiton of ideal:

• existing as an archetypal (the original pattern or model of which all things of the same type are representations or copies : prototype; also : a perfect example) idea
• existing as a mental image or in fancy or imagination only; broadly : lacking practicality; relating to or constituting mental images, ideas, or conceptions
• of, relating to, or embodying an ideal; conforming exactly to an ideal, law, or standard : perfect — compare real

I want ideal! I want perfect! I want to know that he was made for me... that he could only fit perfectly with me. That I complete him. Not that we were just lucky to come across each other.. because he's the mold that can fit into anyone's heart. I want the one just for my heart.

Is that too much to ask?