Missing My Giraffe's

I'm always in a rush. I feel like I have so much to do and so little time. And I feel this mostly about the big stuff... my long-term goals and things I hope to accomplish. People keep having to remind me that I'm still pretty young and I have plenty of time. I'm not so sure about that. The way this world is going... I don't think I have much time at all. I'm frustrated by people who think we have time. My best friend thinks we have all the time in the world. No pressure. No rushing. You should see the two of us walking down the street together. I'm often a few feet in front her... we can't even carry on a conversation. I keep having to yell back "We're running out to time!".

I often look back on my life and think that I've wasted most of it. I'm probably making my past uglier then it actually is. Lately, in hindsight, I feel like I've wasted my time with getting the degree I got and having the jobs I've had... and even wasted my time with some of the company I've kept.

And I often think that I wasted my time not going to Toronto earlier. I had been planning on moving for years. After high school... after college... after university. And now I've moved after a year of being a university graduated. I must have been wasting time for that whole year. Because I wasn't in school... I didn't start my own business... or get married. What goals where accomplished during that time? None!

And of course life must be measured by accomplishments.

Okay fine! There were a few accomplishments. After graduation I went to Belize, Italy and England. Fine! I guess Europe was on my list of things to do. And then when I got back to home I got my driver's license. But then I was suppose to go to Toronto in January. And instead I stayed in Montreal. Obviously... I must have been wasting time.

I have finally accepted that I wasn't. That though those few months here were not on my list of things to do... I am truly happy I stayed.

I stayed in Montreal to work at the daycare with my kiddies.

Yup, they're mine.

I first worked with these kids when they were almost 3... and it was the first class I spent that much time with. And I loved them to bits. I don't usually have a favorite kid but I must say this was my favorite class. I don't know why... they were bad and didn't listen... but there was something about them that I absolutely adored. And after I stopped being their full-time teacher I would keep visiting them... and substituting in their class. So when I was offered to be their full-time teacher again... now that they were getting ready to graduate, I couldn't say no.

And I am so happy I didn't.

Those 11 kids will forever be my kiddies. We were a little family. I was their crazy big sister and they were my bratty lil brothers and sisters. We would have bad days together and good days together. When I was grumpy... they were grumpy. When I was pmsing... they were pmsing. When I was hyper... they were hyper. This wasn't always the best thing but it definitely made for an exciting day.

I remember one day I dropped an entire bottle of yellow paint on the floor. It splattered everywhere. I was so overwhelmed that I just stared at it wondering where to even start cleaning... when suddenly 11 little kids came running... one with the mop, others with paper towels, others with wipes... all to clean up mess. Then about 30 minutes later while baking, I dropped the brown sugar all over the floor. And again stood there overwhelmed... while they got the broom and paper towels to clean up my mess yet again. I honestly would've been lost w/o them. I would so often call them each others names... while someone would correct me. I would get my words all mixed up... while someone would help me. And because I was the only teacher, I often wouldn't have enough arms or eyes to be with everyone... so they would help each other with their art work. I depended so much on them and they were able to handle it. They were such an amazing group.

We were all artists... also known as emotional. So we made beautiful art... but it took a lot of tears and temper tantrums to get there. And even though other teachers didn't understand them... I did.

And the best thing is that I don't have any favorites in the class. Each of them were unique and special... and I loved them for it. But there are kids that I am closer with. Not because I sought them out... but because they did. I had some kids that were always sitting on my lap... or asking me a question. Some kids who followed me around to help or who always wanted to play with me. They were the kids that when the cried they wanted me to hold them. So yeah, we got a little closer then others. But that doesn't mean I didn't love all of them.

These kids made a big impact on my life. I don't really ever want to work with another group of kids because I loved these kids so much. And I am pretty confident that I impacted their lives as well. And by the reaction of their parents... I am pretty sure I did.

I actually just got back from having dinner at one of their houses. I wasn't sure if I was overstepping boundaries by texting one of the mom's to tell her I was in town. But I did it anyways... hoping for the best. I was truly blessed to be invited over. To be able to spend more time with one of my kiddies. To know that I wasn't forgotten.

So maybe somebody thinks I'm special :)

"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me;

and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me."

Mark 9:37

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me,

and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

Luke 18:16