My Confessions -- Part 2

Before I start, I just wanted to remind everyone what my blog is all about. Incase you forgot or didn't know. I write this blog just to get my thoughts out. My journal didn't have enough pages for everything I have to say... especially since I write so big. I love writing... it's very therapeutic and I just make more sense writing then talking. And write to let you in on the psyche of me... what I'm dealing with and struggling with... just incase you can empathize. And I know so many of you can. This is not my way of getting you to worry about me. This is not me trying to get advice or counsel. But I do take cash! Hahaha. No but seriously... that's not what this is about. It's authentic but not personal. God told me to write... so that's what I'm doing.

Now that I've cleared that up... here's some more of my confessions.

This is one I've been in denial about for awhile. Or maybe I did know... and just never wanted to admit it. But when I was reading the Shopaholic books, I decided to face the reality. I accepted that not only are Rebecca Bloomwood and I addicted to shopping... we're liars.

The love of my life has been calling me a liar for the past 4 years. If he read this (thank God he doesn't) he'd tell me I should've just listened to him and stop living in denial which is the root of all my problems. And then I'd tell him I'm not in denial.

That's a lie though.

I am in denial.

No one wants to be a liar. Unfortunately some of us are.

I'm a liar for many different reasons. The main one being that I'm really lazy. I'll let you believe something that isn't true just because I don't have the energy to tell you that it isn't. This happens very often when I don't understand what you're asking me... and then I just agree with you... only to realise that I should not be agreeing with you. Or I don't really understand a question and then I answer some untrue randomness.

I also lie to keep myself from getting in trouble. I don't like facing consequences. I'd rather protect my backside with a nice little lie.

And the love of my life likes to consider exaggeration a lie as well. And if so, then I'm always lying! Cos I love a good exaggeration!

I also lie when I don't want to tell someone something. So instead of saying that it's none of your damn business... I'll just tell a nice little half-truth.

I honestly do hate being a liar. I get frustrated with myself... wondering why I couldn't just suck it up and say what's really good. I hate looking dumb or getting in trouble. It's easier to just lie.

And I don't know if people realise I'm a big liar. Only the love of my life has consistently caught me in lies. Yeah, that could've put a damper on a relationship!

So this is just another thing that I'm going to be working on as I begin my new journey... I hope it goes well.

Oh, and don't worry... I never lie to you... in this blog! ;)

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just

and will forigve us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:8-9