Before moving, I read all of Sophie Kinsella's paperback books. I started with the Confessions of a Shopaholic... finished that collection and then read her two independent stories. As most of you know, they were quite a trendy and popular book. The kind of books I like to avoid. But I also avoided it because it was what I like to call a "pink-covered" book. I don't read "pink-covered" books... they are superficial, fluffy and happy. No real issues in a "pink-covered" book. I much prefer gray/brown/black covered books with a splash of red and blue. These are real books! The people in them have hard lives! And the books don't often end happy.
If my life up til now were a book, it would definitely be shades of gray with splashes of red on the cover. It wouldn't have a happy ending... maybe the slight inclination of later-joy but most likely not. It'd be full of deaths, abuses, bad marriages, heartbreak, backstabbing. My book would make people cry. So since I wasn't a pink-covered book, I didn't read them. I much prefer empathy in the books I read.
Until one of my best friends told me that I should read the Confessions of a Shopaholic because the lead character is so much like me... she shops and has no money while her bills pile up!
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!
So yes, Rebecca Bloomwood and I have quite a lot in common... making the book absolutely hilarious. She's completed addicted shopping. And justifies it with so many of the same things that I justify it with... like making investments! Hahaha. I mean, honestly! Black trousers are DEFINITELY an investment... you cannot convince me others! And the only reason I have 2 pairs is because one comes w/suspenders and the other one doesn't! And Becky and I both ignore our bills... and convince ourselves that we will pay them so soon. And both are in complete shock when we do realise how much we actually spent. How quickly everything adds up is just unbelievable.
I am a Shopaholic... I spend money like I have a money tree growing in my backyard. I love buying clothes and gifts (mostly gifts). I especially love going on trips (especially with a plan)! But the important things... like tithing or buying a pair of glasses, I never have enough money for. And yes, I'm in a bit of debt. Ya, I said it! I'm in debt :(
The frustrating thing about not being a pink-covered book though is that I don't have a happy ending. Rebecca Bloomwood could make as many mistakes as she wanted... screw up her life completey but at the end of the book... she could pay off her bills, she had a great job, and her husband still adored her. Everything always worked out in the end. My novel would look NOTHING like that! I think my life has to fall apart completey before things start to fall into place... before anything starts to work out.
So recently God has been talking to me about the whole money issue. Yes, God talks. And He's pretty straight about the whole talking thing... no sugar-coating with God! I mean, He loves me completely and utterly so He knows how to get me thinking without making me cry. And He told me that I have no discipline!
And it's quite true... I don't have an self-discipline or self-control. I do whatever I want and pray that He fixes it. And I use faith as an excues for why I did it. I try to convince myself that I am trusting God by making stupid irrational decisions that I have to pay for... and still am paying for. And this isn't just for the way I am with money... it trickles into so many other aspects of my life. I'm not so big on self-control.
I have so many dreams though. So many things that I want to accomplish in my life. And now that I am here... I need to get serious about things. I need to figure out what I gotta do. So I'm going to work on this self-discipline. So I'm not spending unless it's to take the bus (even though I really need a new pair of boots)... I'm also going to look into getting something part-time at the grocery store or Walmart... while I continue job hunting. And I'm tithing!
Tithing is basically giving back to God what is rightfully His... which means giving Him 10% of my income. The whole thing is His... but all He asks for back is 10%. I haven't been really big on this whole tithing thing... most people have a lot of negative things to say about it. But since I've been in Toronto I read yet another life changing book (Blue Like Jazz)... and the author shared my views on tithing. Until he was confronted... and changed. Tithing isn't about getting back (which I thought it was... until I wasn't getting back) and it isn't about what the church does with the money (though I know what my church does with the money and it's not sketch)... what it IS about is obedience. It's about practicing self-discipline! And it IS about acknowledging that everything I have is God's! And I guess that I haven't acknowledged that... but it's about time.
It's about time to get serious...
"I am God—yes, I Am. I haven't changed.
And because I haven't changed, you, the descendants of Jacob, haven't been destroyed.
You have a long history of ignoring my commands. You haven't done a thing I've told you.
Return to me so I can return to you," says God-of-the-Angel-Armies.
"You ask, 'But how do we return?'
"Begin by being honest. Do honest people rob God? But you rob me day after day.
"You ask, 'How have we robbed you?'
"The tithe and the offering—that's how!
And now you're under a curse —the whole lot of you—because you're robbing me.
Bring your full tithe to the Temple treasury so there will be ample provisions in my Temple.
Test me in this and see if I don't open up heaven itself to you
and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams.
For my part, I will defend you against marauders, protect your wheat fields and vegetable gardens against plunderers." The Message of God-of-the-Angel-Armies.
"You'll be voted 'Happiest Nation.' You'll experience what it's like to be a country of grace."
God-of-the-Angel-Armies says so.
God says, "You have spoken hard, rude words to me.
"You ask, 'When did we ever do that?'
"When you said, 'It doesn't pay to serve God. What do we ever get out of it?
When we did what he said and went around with long faces,
serious about God-of-the-Angel-Armies, what difference did it make?
Those who take life into their own hands are the lucky ones.
They break all the rules and get ahead anyway.
They push God to the limit and get by with it.'" [...]
God-of-the-Angel-Armies said, "They're mine, all mine. They'll get special treatment when I go into action. I treat them with the same consideration and kindness that parents give the child who honors them. Once more you'll see the difference it makes between being a person who does the right thing and one who doesn't, between serving God and not serving him."
Malachi 3:6-18 (The Message)
I'm not big on blogs but I took a moment to read through yours. I feel like there are a few things to be said about shopaholics. First, when you buy something are you convinced that when you bring it home and add it to your possessions that it will somehow make things better.... that those trousers will make you look more sophisticated... and people will like you more? Second, sociology theorists talk about how today's society believes that consumer goods show the world who they we are... like having a red iPod rather than white means we are daring... and last but most interesting is the aspect of desire which you may not have considered. You buy not just because you lack discipline but because you don't know how to listen and ignore desire... The fundamental difference between wants and needs...
ReplyDeleteNovels are great but offer advice clouded by character development, conflict, and consumer appeal. Yo find yourself relating to fictional one or two dimensional characters and not real people. I suggest you consider the world of non-fiction... "Falling to pieces without falling apart" by Mark Epstein, or his other great book "Open to desire." Both interconnect Buddhist theories with Western mentalities... I think the titles say it all, but I hope you look into them (and you don't have to be a Buddhist to appreciate these books). My mom would say you need God in your life, but you seem to already have that... Might I also suggest a finical adviser... Suze Orman's book "The money book for the young fabulous and BROKE" seems like the next best thing. She's the one whose is always and Oprah... another tell it like it is person, and her book is really helpful. I am all for giving and helping others, but before you start tithing you might want to pay off that debt. 10% is a minimum suggestion, but maybe debt free 20-25% would be possible... just a thought...
All the best!
thanks Aneesah for reading my blog :) and responding... and for sharing ur opinions! much appreciated!
ReplyDeleteha ha! I don't think i am a huge shopaholic. But I do think we have all done one or two shopaholic-y things.. My favorite one is "I wanted to buy those 200£ boots but since i didnt I saved so much money! Therefore I have 200£ to spend on other things i want and that way i'll have more items than just boots! I can get those pants and a new top and some make-up!" (SO smart eh!?) ah well! We can't all be disciplined all the time can we?!
ReplyDeleteI had to make a comment on this one though cus it changed something for me! Thanks so much Kisha! That is why you are my best friend! The Lord talks to you about something and then through you he tells me something he wants me to know as well..
I am so going to start tithing now. I think we grew up with so many ideas about tithing. The worst one being that it's the only way for God to make you rich!!! Oh lord! Things are really so much simpler and so much easier. And not thinking about getting rich and all that makes tithing so much nicer!
The fact is HE ASKED US TO. And I will not be the one to rob him of what is already his! I actually got my first pay check from my new job the day before reading this so i took that as a word from the lord as well! 10% put aside for Him. It's his and i better not touch it!!! (I'll try really hard not to since i am not in a church yet).
I think that tithing teaches discipline as well. That is what he wants us to learn. And he wants us to remember to put Him FIRST. Not second or last. and not even before our own bad situations. (like debt) I think we can trust him to never leave us starving and to always take care of us. He will! He promised it to us. Kisha I have faith that if you obey him in what he has spoken to you he will take good care of you. In His horrible.. I mean perfect.. timing! He didn't speak to you for nothing. I hate to sound like i am talking christianese! But maybe he is speaking to you because He sees an area that is holding Him back from blessing you. I certainly do NOT mean that he will make you rich after you give an extra extra offering!!! plus three hail mary's maybe? No no. I mean that He doesn't speak for nothing. And that He always has a plan that is obviously always different than what we imagine. SO here we go!!!! (WE OF COURSE)