Today makes 2 weeks since I left Montreal... and I still have 3 more weeks to go! This is my breaking point... my longest time away from my bedroom is 2 weeks... so now I guess we will see what happens. But honestly... I have been so blessed by this vacation. It definitely has its ups and downs but I am really enjoying this time away from home. Mostly because I get to spend a lot of time with the Love of my life... Jesus :D I make sure to spend sometime with Him when I wake up each morning and before I fall asleep every night. And not having any plans of my own for the day... I get to spend a lot of time thinking about Him... and when the tricycle and bubbles become too overwhelming... I talk to Him. It's great! And because of that our relationship has been developing a lot more!
Prior to coming to Italy... to describe my relationship with Jesus was to say I was the prostitute He loved and had to forgive over and over and over and OVER again! I felt very connected to the prostitute in the book of Hosea. God told the prophet Hosea to go and marry a prostitute. That poor man... can you imagine how he felt! All trying to serve God and do what's right. He was probably a virgin... waiting for the perfect bride who could make him breakfast and clean the house while he tended to like sheep or something! But then God says marry the hooker on the street corner... who has opened her legs to everyone and their father! GREAT! PERFECT! Just the woman Hosea was waiting for! I am sure he was crushed... and fought with God on the subject for a very long time. But Hosea was a good man and he married her. But you know what they say about prostitutes... they never make very good wives... she left Hosea and kept going back to the street corner... even though they had kids together... even though he gave her expensive clothes and jewellery... even though Hosea was completely and utterly in love with her... even though she had everything she needed... she left him and went back to being a prostitute! And yes, this story is in the Bible... but this is the Kisha-parapharsed version! lol. So yeah this girl kept leaving Hosea and God would keep telling Hosea to go back and bring her home. I'm sure he loved that idea... he must have looked really smart to that small village he lived in. Everyone would have known he married a hooker... and she left him! The poor man's ego was shattered! I am not too sure the Bible really finishes that story. I have no idea if the girl began to understand that her husband loved her and that she needed to stay home. I don't know if she ever realised that she deserved to be loved... and deserved to be more than just a sexual object. But I do know that I have often felt like her.
During my life as a Christian, I left God's side so many times. I would always find myself doing the things He told me not to... and then pray that I wouldn't get caught!!! Can you imagine?!?! And then after... when I would find out that it just left me more hurt and wounded then before... I would come crawling back to Him. And He would always take me back... He would always forgive me... and find some new way to bless me! And I would just keep running away... and He would keep taking me back! And this went on from like 1998 to July 2007! You would think He would get fed up of forgiving me... or fed up of me repeating the same mistakes! You would think He would yell at me for not listening to what He said... or want to lock me in my room for the rest of my life.
Fortunately, He didn't do any of that... rather He lavished me with His Love. He is always there for me when I need Him... no matter what kind of state I am in... He still loves me. & I am never too much for Him... never too needy, too cranky. Even if I'm PMSing... crying over nothing... pissed off about everything... I can still go to God. I can still pray, worship, read my Bible and listen to God. He doesn't mind at all. His Love is unconditional and His mercies are new every morning! How great is that?!?!
So now that I am here in Italy... I am beginning to no longer see myself as the prostitute. I am starting to see myself as something more. My days of running away and returning to my stupid mistakes are over. Now I can truly say that I belong to Him :)
Prior to coming to Italy... to describe my relationship with Jesus was to say I was the prostitute He loved and had to forgive over and over and over and OVER again! I felt very connected to the prostitute in the book of Hosea. God told the prophet Hosea to go and marry a prostitute. That poor man... can you imagine how he felt! All trying to serve God and do what's right. He was probably a virgin... waiting for the perfect bride who could make him breakfast and clean the house while he tended to like sheep or something! But then God says marry the hooker on the street corner... who has opened her legs to everyone and their father! GREAT! PERFECT! Just the woman Hosea was waiting for! I am sure he was crushed... and fought with God on the subject for a very long time. But Hosea was a good man and he married her. But you know what they say about prostitutes... they never make very good wives... she left Hosea and kept going back to the street corner... even though they had kids together... even though he gave her expensive clothes and jewellery... even though Hosea was completely and utterly in love with her... even though she had everything she needed... she left him and went back to being a prostitute! And yes, this story is in the Bible... but this is the Kisha-parapharsed version! lol. So yeah this girl kept leaving Hosea and God would keep telling Hosea to go back and bring her home. I'm sure he loved that idea... he must have looked really smart to that small village he lived in. Everyone would have known he married a hooker... and she left him! The poor man's ego was shattered! I am not too sure the Bible really finishes that story. I have no idea if the girl began to understand that her husband loved her and that she needed to stay home. I don't know if she ever realised that she deserved to be loved... and deserved to be more than just a sexual object. But I do know that I have often felt like her.
During my life as a Christian, I left God's side so many times. I would always find myself doing the things He told me not to... and then pray that I wouldn't get caught!!! Can you imagine?!?! And then after... when I would find out that it just left me more hurt and wounded then before... I would come crawling back to Him. And He would always take me back... He would always forgive me... and find some new way to bless me! And I would just keep running away... and He would keep taking me back! And this went on from like 1998 to July 2007! You would think He would get fed up of forgiving me... or fed up of me repeating the same mistakes! You would think He would yell at me for not listening to what He said... or want to lock me in my room for the rest of my life.
Fortunately, He didn't do any of that... rather He lavished me with His Love. He is always there for me when I need Him... no matter what kind of state I am in... He still loves me. & I am never too much for Him... never too needy, too cranky. Even if I'm PMSing... crying over nothing... pissed off about everything... I can still go to God. I can still pray, worship, read my Bible and listen to God. He doesn't mind at all. His Love is unconditional and His mercies are new every morning! How great is that?!?!
So now that I am here in Italy... I am beginning to no longer see myself as the prostitute. I am starting to see myself as something more. My days of running away and returning to my stupid mistakes are over. Now I can truly say that I belong to Him :)
John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that He gave...
Hosea 2:19-2
I will betroth you to Me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD.
Luke 7:47
Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.
Keep taking care of yourself, no matter what!
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