Kisha's Hierarchy of Friends

I think I call like a zillion people in the WORLD my best friend! Unfortunately, over time my actual best friends at the time got quite offended. They didn't get how I could use the words so flippantly! But sometimes "friend" just didn't suffice my sentiments! I needed to add an adjective there... and "best" was all I had. In 2006 though anyone with a brain was my best friend... maybe I did take it a little too far.

A few weeks ago, I told this guy who I just met that he was my first Brampton friend. He was quite shocked. I think I sounded a bit needy! He didn't really get how we were ALREADY friends. So to make sure he didn't runaway from me and leave me without any friends... I quickly devised my theory of friendship. I was pretty impressed with myself because it actually made sense. I've been wanting to share this with you guys for awhile to see what people thought... and maybe I could end up in a text book or something! LOL

My 6-levels of friendship is a hierarchy triangular theory. So basically the first level of the triangle is the biggest meaning that there are more people that fit in there... but as u climb this "ladder" the space gets smaller... not too many people fit in there.

The first level of friendship is ACQUAINTANCE and is obviously the biggest one. I have a lot of acquaintances... and only a small percentage of them are my Facebook friends. And I have 502 Facebook friends today! I even deleted a few of them during purification ceremonies! lol. But these are the people who I acknowledge in public... with a nodd or smile or wave. Sometimes will have a nice little chat about where they're at in life, the weather or something else very pertinent but not personal. Sometimes I know their names... sometimes I don't. It's okay though... we're happy just having that short little interaction. Especially if we're at a party and the people we came with left us... then you love your acquaintances... you might even hug them!

But sometimes your acquaintances become your FRIEND and this just means that you start making plans. So when you bump into them randomly, one of you usually says, "OMG! We should totally grab a coffee! Here's my number! You should definitely call me!" And then years go by and you see them again and you say the exact same thing! I love it! I love all these random invitations that very rarely happen. I'm not usually offended when things don't happen. I'm usually the one who doesn't show up though... because I'm ridiculously shy... and hate awkward situations. So if I only met you a few times and then you invite me out, I probably won't come! I just need a few more conversations with you before we spend any alone time!

Though there are times when these plans actually do pan out and then, according to me and my theory, these are your BEST FRIENDS. I could be jumping the gun here... maybe "good" would be a better adjective but "best" just sounds a lot more exciting when you yell it out across the room! But my best friends are those people who have actually taken the time to get to know me and follow-through with plans. They usually know random facts about who I am... and we send each other Christmas cards. And we also start making BIGGER plans! I think we everyone that I've called a best friend we have shared a dream... whether it's a business venture or a vacation... we're making BIG plans. And to me, it doesn't really matter if these pan out or not... it's quite fun to dream w/them anyways!

The next level is BINGE FRIENDS and they are my everyday friends. We make big plans and regular plans. I probably see my binge friends once a week and usually talk to them every other day. I'm lost without my binge friends! They keep me sane by knowing just about every small detail of my life and of theirs. They're the people I call when I wanna go shopping or catch a movie or just get out of my house. We do nothing most of the time and often talk about the same things all the time but it doesn't matter cos we just love being together.

Usually though, you can only binge a person for so long. Thankfully though binging has evolved since I was in grade school... cos honestly that was really intense! But after binging someone for awhile the automatically become FAMILY. These friends could probably get a key to my house if they wanted to. We know each other's parents and don't mind kicking it with them until you get home. And the thing about family friends is that you don't have to talk to them all the time to know that they love you. You could talk to them once a year and the friendship would still be strong! You know that you'll still be in each other's wedding and that your kids will call them auntie/uncle. And you know that when there's any kind of significant event like a break-up or a new job... that you'll be calling your family friends to let them know!

Unfotunately sometimes you do lose contact with them... especially as you get older. But there's always a special bond anyways. And often in my experience, I want these family friends to be something more. I don't want to just hear from them for the milestones but also for the little stones... the everyday things in life. Whenever you have someone on a certain level and you're not that type of friend for them...it's frustrating. Because you expect that person to be there for you in a certain way and they aren't.

As of right now I only have one BESTEST FRIEND who has climbed this interesting ladder of friendship. It was tough but she made it. I would describe her as my binge family friend... like we just can't get enough of each other. She's an active part of my life and I'm an active part of hers.

So that's my 6-level friendship model. I love that I can fit all my friendships into it... hehehe. But that doesn't
mean I value anyone's relationship over another... it just explains why I call everyone my best friend and why I get more frustrated with some people!!!

Bizzzzzzzzzzzzzack!

I still can't believe I'm in Montreal.

I honestly didn't plan on ever coming back. Obviously, I didn't know what the future held but I thought I would spend a few years in Toronto... live with my uncle, get a good job, pay off my debt, get my own place, save up and start a business... most likely in Toronto. But apparently God had other things in store.

I knew since after High School that I wanted to go live with my uncle. And after University I felt God told me that I needed to go to prepare me for my life... and I saw a red carpet begin to unravel in front of me so that I could walk on it. And then a year based and I finally went. I knew God had things to show me... but I just assumed it would take a while! Who knew that it would only take a few weeks! Usually God is not fast enough for me... and suddenly, I'm the one who's trying to catch up with Him.

The Sunday before I decided to leave, I felt God say to me that He was SENDING me to Montreal. Now for God to say sending, it's a pretty big deal. It means that you're going for His purposes... on His mission. I was so nervous. I was nervous that I would fail Him... and just go back to the way my life was before I moved. That I would return to my selfish Chrisitanity... go back to the daycare... and go back to living in denial and ignorance.

But when I was on the Coach bus, I started to feel like I was coming back to face my dragons. I know that sounds a little crazy... a little Bruce Lee but that's how I felt. There were things that I avoided because I had always planned on moving... things that I didn't work through or deal with. And now it was time to face them. So that they could stop haunting me. Like, w/Bruce Lee! But I was so scared. I could feel them as soon as the bus hit downtown... for some reason I have a lot of dragons.

The best thing about being a Christian is that it isn't about me though. I often try to make it about me and try to do things on my own. But I am continuously reminded that I can't do anything w/o God.

As soon as I walked through the front door though, I knew that I was different. God had changed me. AMEN! I was so amazed at how much I had matured and grown in such a short amount of time... leaps and bounds! And others noticed it too.

I came back home for an interview and then I escaped for a week to London, ON. Now that I'm back I have received a full-time and part-time job. So things are going to be very busy. And I'm nervous and also very excited.

I love that I can only boast about God for my growth and maturity as well as for these jobs. I'm in complete awe at how good He is to me. And not because I deserve it, but just because He loves me :)

This is what the Lord says:
"Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,

but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows Me,
that I Am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight."
declares the Lord
Jeremiah 9:23-24

So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord [...]
But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God,
who has saved us and called us to a holy life--
not because of anything we have done
but because of His own purpose and grace.
This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time.
2 Timothy 1:8-9

Down to the Nitty Gritty

Since being on my journey, my view of Christianity has changed quite a bit. That's in part due to the fact that before moving, I wasn't very excited about the whole religion thing... and I've also read some really good books. And of course they changed my life! But I honestly think they might change your life too. I would even call them mandatory reads... like the Bible! The first was "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. And the other was "The Shack" by William P. Young.

Both of them reminded me what Christianity is all about. Which is something I needed because I forget so often... I get caught up in all the hype... oh yeah, the Christianity hype and I completely forget why I even chose to follow this Christ person! And then I get hurt... as most people do by this church institution... and then I really wonder what I'm doing. But these books brought Christianity back to the nitty-gritty... to the simple truth of what it's all about.

Just incase you don't know what raw Christianity is... I'll let you know. It's about Love. Loving God and loving others. And trust me this isn't as simple as its said. Trying to accomplish either of these things is quite a hard task... I'm much better at ignoring God and smiling at others... maybe I should start a religion based on that. I would be a religious guru! Though I'm sure most of us have mastered the art of ignoring God and smiling at others.

I've also been reading a few issues of the Christian magazine Relevant. Mainly because I want to start writing for magazines and thought I would get a few ideas. But while reading this magazine, I was so convicted of my Christianity.

From cover to cover this magazine talks about people who are showing love... who are real live demonstrations of raw Christianity. Though books change my life and remind me of all the good stuff, I can still act like its something unattainable... because its in a book. But then I'm faced with the reality that people are actually living like Jesus did.

I remember once a youth leader sharing William Booth's vision... of people drowning and sinking in a raging sea while others sat safely on a platform. And of those who were safe... some of them were going back into the sea to rescue those still struggling. While the other safe ones just seemed to ignore them. William was says he was amazed in his vision, that those who were saved and then went back into the sea... didn't seem to care about the risk they were taking.

The Bible tells us that there is no greater love then laying down your life for another. Love is shown in your sacrifice... of your safety, time, money and energy. Love is selfless... it doesn't think about what can you do for me but what I can do for you! How can I bring hope to your life.

One of my favorite quotes which has been inaccurately attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson ends off with... "To know that even one life has breathed easier because of you. This is to have succeeded."

I'm tired of leading a selfish life... of trying to get success in money or a great job or a nice house. I'm tired of always thinking about my needs and what I'm lacking. I'm tired of focusing on what I want from life and from God.

I'm especially tired of putting off loving others... I keep saving it for when I'm better... when I'm happier or more stable. God forbid I died and didn't do any of it... oh, how sad it would be to know that I left this earth without ever really loving those who needed. That I stayed on that platform in my safety and watched others drown because I didn't want to get wet or take a risk.

I've taken stupider risks in my life... its time to start willing to risk it all for something that does matter... someone else's hope. I've gotten out the boat for things that would benefit me... it's time to start doing what I should be doing.

It's hard to call yourself a Christian because we all fall so short. And I know that I won't be perfect at being selfless... but I can at least die trying.

Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air. Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world.

James 1:26-27 (Msg)

•

... "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
"What is written in the Law?" [Jesus] replied. "How do you read it?"
He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all you mind'; and,
'Love your neighbor as yourself.' "
"You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."
Luke 10:25-28

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The Spirit of the Soverering Lord is on me,

because the Lord has anointed me

to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,

to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfor all who mourn,

and provide for those who grive in Zion--

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

The will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord

for the display of His splendor."

Isaiah 61:1-3