This year, a week before Valentine's Day, I went to see "He's Just Not that Into You"... what a big mistake. It left me feeling so terrible depressed about all the guys that were just NOT that in me. It's a sad sad realization. And yes, I did realize it before but the movie just resurfaced all those terrible feelings. I don't think I've recovered yet.
I watched a video on Facebook a few nights ago... it was of a Pastor preaching to single guys... telling them how to find their wife. In a small nut shell, he said that you should just grow a set and ask her out... to her face... to dinner. Don't facebook her or text or... and don't ask her to movie. And he said that girls should just walk away from guys you don't put the effort into you. It was interesting because it wasn't so much that he's just not that into you... it was more that he just doesn't know how to treat you. Either way, don't date him.
A few minutes later I got a text asking if I wanted to go to the movies.
A co-worker asked me recently how long was my longest relationship... and instead of just facing the shame of it all... I said that I date jerks. Which is true! And then he asked me why I did this to myself... is it because I'm afraid of commitment.
Maybe... but I think only jerks ask me out...
It's hard to not think that has something to do with me. Like what on my forehead says that I don't deserve a real date... to a real restaurant... where he pays? And what about me says that I don't deserve to meet his friends? Or that I'm not worth the title girlfriend or a commitment?!?
I was asked a few weeks ago what type of do I like. I didn't answer... it was a guy asking. I felt awkward telling him that it was a bunch of things he probably wasn't. But then, I knew that it didn't matter the type I liked because I always settle. My standards are high but at the end of the day... I sell myself short.
I think I'm done selling myself short. I think it's time I honored my own personal standards. And stopped settling for a moment's glimpse of what love may look like...
And this may mean that I'll be single for a very VERY long time... because yes, my standards are quite high. But at least when he comes along, I'll know he's the one and hopefully... he'll know I'm worth it.
A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Proverbs 31:10
